


Strange Things

by graywhatsit



Series: Hatbots [5]
Category: The Yogscast
Genre: Alternate Universe - Robots & Androids, Fluff, Hat Films, Multi, SO MUCH FLUFF, hatbots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-09
Updated: 2015-06-09
Packaged: 2018-04-03 14:53:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4104964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/graywhatsit/pseuds/graywhatsit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alex Smith had not programmed his companions for anything other than, well, platonic companionship.</p><p>So why were they acting like this?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Strange Things

Of all the things Alex had programmed into his friends, attraction was not one of them.

Sure, platonic attraction- the concept of a _squish_ , rather than a crush; the idea of being friends or best friends or family with someone- and that made sense; their purpose was to be companions to himself and anyone else they wanted.

But never romantic or sexual.

It’d be too odd, he’d reasoned- they were robots, and robots he hadn’t even built genitalia into. That had been a little much, even for him. It was simply too uncomfortable for him to deal with.

They would just never be interested, though they could learn about it.

But that didn’t explain why he was actually hiding from them, barricaded into his room and desperately trying to figure out what the fuck had actually happened to his friends.

 

Nothing was wrong the moment he awoke. At least, it didn’t seem like it.

It was overcast, a little damp and cool- typical English weather, to be perfectly honest- and he was in his bed, with either android on either side of him. This was how he typically slept: all three of them in a big, cozy pile of body and blanket on the bed, which was just large enough for all of them to fit and not be on top of each other.

What wasn’t quite normal was something warm pushing into his neck, nuzzling slightly, and a weight pressing down on his chest.

Still a little groggy from just waking up, he blinked slowly, turning his head to find what, exactly, was causing these sensations.

“What the fuck?”

Trott- to his right- had his face pressed right into his neck, nose brushing against the warm skin there, eyes still closed, though (simulated) breathing showing he was very much awake. On his left lay Ross, though instead of having his head on the pillow, as per usual, it was resting on his chest, weighing him down.

Though they did have internal heating, entirely from their processors and mechanisms working to keep them running, each creation could feel the cold. After their run-in with below-freezing temperatures the past winter, they much preferred to keep as warm as possible even with the antifreeze in their ‘veins’, so as not to remember it.

That certainly could have been it, but he could _feel_ the warmth radiating from their ‘skin’, and each of them had worn warm pyjamas to bed, more than enough to keep them insulated.

And they had never, ever done this before, not once.

“What the _fuck_?” he repeated, and that roused the construct to his right.

“Good morning, Smith!” Oh, god, he sounded _way_ too cheerful at this time of day. Plus, when he leaned back a bit to see his face, that _look_ … it gave him an odd, uncomfortable yet not feeling in his chest. He looked awed, even adoring, almost like someone would look at a beloved family member.

Or, more likely- looking a little deeper- something a little less platonic.

He just blinked at Trott, swallowing once before opening his mouth to speak.

“Why’re you- oh, Smith! How’d you sleep?” Ross interrupted him, looking up at the engineer with a look incredibly similar to the one Trott still wore.

“I.. alright?” It was too soon for all of this- hell, _any_ time would be too soon.

Rather than placate the creations, as he’d thought the answer might, their admiring, hopeful expressions quickly turned worried. Exceptionally so.

“Only alright?” The taller pressed. “Did you not get enough sleep? Maybe you should go back to bed, Smith.”

“I haven’t _left_ the bed- I’m fine! I got enough sleep, it’s okay.” His words didn’t exactly soothe his friends, but the lines on their foreheads did fade slightly.

“If you’re sure. Hey, you don’t have work today, right?” At Alex’s nod, Trott reached back to unplug his cable, smoothing the cap back over his port with one hand, leaving seamless pale skin.

No matter how much he saw that, it was still a little unnerving. Even if he had come up with it.

“Then you can stay right here- I’ll make breakfast for you! Ross, do you want to help?” The other android was on his feet in an instant, plug retracting into the wall after being detached.

“Yeah, I will. You stay here, Smith, we’ll take care of all of it,” he promised, smoothing the blankets over his friend, still staring at them from the bed.

“Guys-”

“We’ve got this! We know how to cook, everything will be just fine!” A hand through his hair- something that was incredibly rare among the trio, but felt beyond amazing- and the two were out the door, leaving Alex to stare after them, bewildered.

 

They wouldn’t let him out of bed.

The second they heard the floorboards creak- on Trott’s side, and he always knew when the android was coming or going- one of them was back, telling him to stay put.

He said he could cook his own damn breakfast, thank you very much, but neither would have it. He’d done enough for them, it was his day off… anything to justify their actions.

Even if it didn’t make any sense.

Friends don’t need paying back, and neither do creators. They do it just because they want to, because they like to see you happy and well. It simply isn’t necessary, though it isn’t unwelcome to get such a surprise.

But they’d never once done something like this before. Normally, they didn’t care either way, leaving him to take care of himself, same as he left them to it. Help, if asked for, was given with a bit of teasing, but they rarely did something entirely for each other. At least, to this extent.

He sat there, more frustrated than anything about not being able to get up, even to relieve himself- and he _had_ tried Ross’ side; somehow, they could tell, god damned robots- even when they returned with his food, setting it on his lap.

“That _is_ your favorite, right?” The shorter creation looked down at him, worriedly twisting the hem of his (pilfered, though not quite missed) maroon hoodie. “If it’s not, we can go back and-”

Oh, god, don’t look like that. He hated seeing that look.

“It’s fine, Trott. You’re right, it is- thanks.” He wouldn’t have expected him not to remember, even if it wasn’t as simple as it was.

He wasn’t quite so sure about where he stood with the overjoyed, pleased look. It brought that weird feeling in his chest again.

But they didn’t need to keep watching him with it as he ate. That was more than uncomfortable.

 

The plan for his day off was, apparently, to do anything and everything he wanted.

At least, that’s what his companions told him.

Nevermind they had a class to go to- his day, they’d do whatever he chose.

And that’s pretty much how they ended up on the couch, playing video games- their favorite pastime, how could he pass that up?

Often, he’d wished they had a bigger couch. He did like to be close to his friends, as they were good company and warmth when it was colder, but he didn’t like cramming in and potentially being squished.

Right now, however, he didn’t think a bigger sofa would change much.

Rather than being close, but still staying on their respective cushions…

“Ross, I can’t play!”

“What d’you mean? You’re doing just fine.”

“You are _pinning my arm_. I can’t play with one hand- move over!”

“I can’t move over, there’s no room!”

“Well, you don’t have to _lean_ on me- Trott.”

“Hm?”

“You _cannot_ sit on my lap. Get off.”

“If I do, you can move over and won’t be pinned!”

“Yes, but you’ll still be on my lap. Get off of me!”

“But _Smith_..”

“I can’t _see_ and I don’t _want_ you on my lap- off!”

Trott huffed, moving from where he was partially perched on Alex’s leg, and a hearty nudge from said engineer forced Ross to move the other way, looking clearly as unhappy as Trott did.

Each stayed this way for about five minutes before trying to crowd him again.

He wasn’t a magnet- though some could say he had a magnetic personality- but it certainly fucking seemed like it.

 

He stayed there, sandwiched between the two overly touchy-feely creations, for the next hour or so, giving up after the second time of telling them off for being so close. They wouldn’t listen, so what was the point?

Besides, it didn’t feel _too_ bad.

“Hey, Trott?” Ross paused in his scrolling through the menu, turning to face his friend. “What time does it start?”

“Uh… ten? Why-” His brown eyes turned from confused to blank, a touch glassy as he consulted his internal clock. **[9:32 AM, GMT]** “Shit. We need to hurry, come on.”

“Need me to drive you?” Well, Alex didn’t want them to be late. The last time they were running behind..

Well, believe me, you don’t want a nervous wreck of an android in your house, much less two of them. It’s pretty much as bad as you think. Probably worse.

Ross shook his head, abandoning his controller on the couch. “We’ll be okay. Besides, it’s your day off; stay here and relax.”

He certainly wasn’t against that, especially since he now had room to stretch out on the loveseat. Which he promptly did. “If you’re sure, mate.” He took up the controller to his right, moving back to a single-player campaign. “Have fun, be good, all that. I’ll see you when you get back.”

“When are we not good?” After handing over Ross’ bag, Trott shouldered his own, moving for the door. “Wait a second, almost forgot.”

“What?”

Alex hadn’t known him to _actually_ forget anything, but sometimes they could get a little preoccupied. Understandable, really, with everything going on. He probably forgot his key or something.

He definitely was not expecting to feel him press his lips to his cheek, moving away after a second only to be replaced by Ross. Warm and soft, full of affection much stronger than anything they usually showed.

They’d _kissed_ him.

“What the-”

“Bye, Smith! See you!”

He gaped after the both of them, even long after the door had closed. What the actual _fuck_?

 

Classes took hours, with lecture and lab components, so they’d be back about mid-afternoon.

That gave him enough time to actually try and figure what was happening to them.

Or, at least, it would be.

Though he could bring himself to actually focus, he could be easily distracted by other things, forgetting his original train of thought and never actually going back to find it.

Like today, when he got incredibly invested in this new save- it was the best run he’d ever done in his life, he couldn’t just stop now!- and then lunch, because there was something he really wanted to try involving both pasta and chicken, and there were no robots in the way attempting to be a help.

When it was just _one_ of any of the three in the kitchen, everything worked out fine, even delicious. Add one more, however… they still had a bit of pancake left on the ceiling. And the floor tile.

You egg each other on, you get egg- or, batter- all over.

And god help you if you get all three of them there.

Then, as he was cooking, he got the idea for an upgrade to his little kitchen timer involving a sensor, doing away with the need for a manual set; after he finished eating, he started on that.

Only to be re-inspired and try to work on his time machine again. The exact idea that caught his house on fire last time. Surely it wouldn’t happen again. He wouldn’t be that unlucky.

Alex was the tiniest bit singed when he went out to greet his friends, but hey- at least they still had a home. Seemed to be luckier than he thought. Possibly.

 

Both Ross and Trott- once they started going to classes, of course- found that it was best to get homework out of the way. If they didn’t do it immediately, they’d become preoccupied and forget about it completely, getting a docking of points when they returned to class without the assignment finished.

And neither one wanted that.

Alex was completely fine with that; it was important to them to keep up their grades and learn as much as possible. That, and it kept them out of trouble, and he knew very well that a bored android could cause all sorts of problems.

Apparently, so could a busy android, as they dragged him into their pile on the couch where they did their homework.

“I’m not a fucking table, get off me!”

“We’re not using you as a table. What, you don’t want to sit with us?” Ross looked up with that same awful kicked-puppy expression he usually wore when upset- faked or not. Jesus, could he _not_?

“I was _doing_ something. Let me up!”

“Once we’re finished with this problem, alright?”

Alex huffed, crossing his arms as much as his limited movement would allow, but agreed to it; he’d get to go back to his work soon enough.

But honestly, how could a question on an assignment for a _film_ class take half an hour? And what kind of film class gave homework, anyway?

 

He hadn’t thought it would get worse, but he’d been wrong before.

This was another one of those times.

Oh, they’d let him up as promised, of course, but..

As he cooked dinner, they two of them _hovered_ , like helicopters, their questions and chatter the loud hum of rotor blades, ruffling his hair and shirt when they reached, trying to take over because honestly, it’s his day off; shouldn’t he be sitting back?

As if he’d never cooked for himself before.

He may have shouted a bit at them, instantly feeling guilty as the wind died down, faces turning from excited and bright to downcast, hurt. They never wanted to annoy him, but they were certainly succeeding in doing it.

It didn’t keep them away for long, however- as he sat down with his plate, the others scooted their chairs in closer, seemingly wanting to be as close to him as possible. At least he was given enough room to cut into his food, but only just- it was like he was a magnet all over again.

He wasn’t sure which he preferred: the chatter or the close proximity. Either way, it was giving him odd feelings that he really didn’t want to think about, and so he pushed them away in favor of finishing his meal, as well as the dishes and packing away leftovers.

It really all came to a boiling point when, as they sat on the same couch ruthlessly picking apart some awful movie, both Ross and Trott snuggled very close to him, resting their heads on him where they could and relaxing, pressing close.

And that was about as much as the sole human of the trio could take.

“What the fuck is _wrong_ with you two?” He snapped, and both of them sat up, shocked at his tone of voice.

“What? Did we do something?” Ross frowned up at him, looking- rather sincerely- confused.

“You’ve been acting strange all day! Looking at me like.. and you’ve been so touchy-feely and wanting to do _everything_ \- you even _kissed_ me!” He stood up from the couch, thankful to be free of them and definitely not hiding his relief. “You’ve never been like that! So what the fuck is going on?”

Both androids paused for a moment, glanced at each other. After a few moments, Trott spoke up, voice very quiet, hardly loud enough to be heard over the still-playing television. A quick press of the power button by Ross allowed him to be properly heard.

“Well.. we’ve learned a lot, you know. About all sorts of things. Not just things like history or maths or how to cook or clean or walk, but.. how humans interact with other humans. Emotions, symbols, things like that, and.. people do all those things for each other. When they love each other. And we’ve figured out that’s how we feel.” Again, fiddling with the edge of his shirt. “I-”

“We-” Ross amended, being the first to actually look up at him, “-love you, Smith. Really. Not just friends or family or whatever, but..” That’s where he trailed off, and the two looked as vulnerable as he’d ever seen them.

He’d never programmed this, and it really scared him, though he wasn’t disgusted. If things weren’t like they were, if any one thing would be different- that train of thought brought that odd feeling back to his chest, and he immediately shut it down. He could not and would not think of that; he wasn’t one for what-ifs, despite his creativity and imagination- especially not maybes of that nature. The engineer took a deep breath, then let it out in a long sigh.

“Excuse me for a minute.”

And with that, he left them to go to his bedroom.

 

That’s where we left him, originally.

Locked in his bedroom, bewildered and confused and just generally puzzled, wondering if this was some sort of glitch or bug.

Or if they’d actually become more human than he’d planned for.

On the other side of the door, both robots stood, a touch awkwardly, watching the solid wood in front of them.

“So,” Ross started, glancing over at his shorter friend, “do you think we should tell him we were just fucking with him now?”

Right, yeah.. just fucking with him. Trott blinked, then shook his head, trying to keep as much of an indifferent face as possible. His friend was attempting it, and damn it, so would he.

“Let’s give him a little while. I want to hear what explanation he comes up with.”


End file.
